Date #3: Chicken Wing

How we met:
At a networking event

His Stats:
32, went to graduate school, born and raised in the city we currently live in (everyone I have met during this challenge has this characteristic…hmmm), unemployed

The Date:
Drinks, appetizers, and music

What I wore:
Jeans and a white top with a black sweater wrap over it, a chunky necklace and leopard-print pumps

So this is what I would like to call an accidental date. When we met at the networking event we clicked and decided to go to another spot. It was just me and him and he paid so that was a date…right?

I actually passed this guy on the street while I was walking to the event.  He was going in the opposite direction.  He was attractive.  Bald.  Chocolate.  Strong jaw line.  But no eye contact was made between us.  I chalked it up as a loss and kept on moving.

So imagine my surprise when he walked into the event I was attending.  We were on opposite sides of the room and eventually he made his way near me as he was working the room.  He was introduced to the group I was standing with by someone else.  He went around the circle for individual introductions.  When he got to me he said excitedly, “Yo, you have clean nails.”

I’m caught off guard.  That’s not the typical compliment that comes from a guy so I’m a little skeptical plus I was in desperate need of a manicure, but I looked up at him, smiled, and said, “Thanks.”  After the usual chatting about where we went to school/where we’re from/who we know in common (he said I looked familiar), the conversation moved to places we kick it.  I told him about a place I frequent on Wednesday nights:

CW: Let’s go
Me: Umm like right now?
CW: Yeah right now. Seems like a cool spot.

A man who is spontaneous…I like that.

And the date begins…we grabbed drinks from the bar since there were no tables available and took in the music that was playing.  We talked about the types of music we enjoy and sang along to the music that was playing.  I pretty much laughed the whole date especially about his neat freak ways and made me jealous when he told me what he does in his free time since he got laid off: golf, bike rides, trips to wherever, whenever.  He truly lives life which I LOVE!  I’m a fan.

Leaving a place with a guy I just met? Probably not the smartest decision I have made in my life, but I’m glad I made it.  So SASSY readers, ever meet someone you connect with immediately?  Share your story in the comments section. Until next time…

Love is all we need,
Sasha

Date #2: Reproduction
You’ll know how this guy got his nickname

How we met
I was out at a bar eating and he came up and started talking to me

His Stats
45, college educated, member of a Greek-lettered fraternity, works in real estate, born and raised in the city we currently live in

The Date
After-work drinks

What I wore
My work clothes: black pantsuit with a white blouse that had ruffles, silver accessories, low black pumps

Yes I know what you’re thinking…he’s old(er). There is nothing really wrong with older men.  I don’t discriminate. What was unique with this guy is that he has never been married nor does he have any kids. Normally this would throw up red flags, but I had a chance to talk to him for a long time and meet some of his friends when we met. Everything seemed ok.

I arrived at the spot first and grabbed a table.

*pause*

I’m gonna be real honest with y’all…I tried very hard to find a table in a back corner. Had a feeling that people were going to be staring at us. For some reason I didn’t want anyone to see me.

*end pause*

Once Reproduction arrives, he looks slightly…different. He looked older than when I met him. No biggie. Just an observation. He’s still handsome. Salt and pepper beard. A little more pepper than salt. Same pleasant smile.

We order some beers and begin what will be a stop and go conversation due to both of us peeking at the basketball game.

Reproduction: My friend from the other night asked about you. Asked if I had talked to you since we met.
Me: Oh really?
Reproduction: I told him I did and he was glad to hear it. Said I should get on that because you can still have kids.

I know men have “biological clocks,” but my reproductive organs are part of casual conversation between two men?
Okay I guess…

After more stop and go conversation about dogs, jazz, and the fact that he pledged his fraternity the year after I was born, we decided to call it a night. He walked me to my car and attempted to kiss me. I declined and instead gave him a peck on the cheek.

Overall this date was…eh. I may give him another shot since I was tired and that can skew how I see things (I love my sleep). Or maybe he’s just more interesting when he’s drunk…hmmm.

So SASSY readers, do you date older? What is your age range? Have you ever dated anyone significantly older than you? If so, how did that work out? Until next time…

Love is all we need,
Sasha

Hey Everyone in SASSY land! Just wanted to give y’all an update on how the challenge was going…

I’M TIRED Y’ALL!!

I knew that going on 8 dates with 8 different guys was going to be tiring and that it was going to take a lot of effort on my part. But I am beat. Just plain tired. I go out just about every night (even on weeknights) in an attempt to meet people. My laundry is stacking up quicker since I’m changing clothes more often than normal.  And despite my efforts, I still haven’t met anyone.

Well let me rephrase that: I haven’t met anyone that I could see myself spending an hour of my time with. I’m open to giving people chances, but some folks out here are on that foolishness. For example, I went out to a bar to watch the college basketball National Championship game. I’m relaxing, watching the game, and sipping on my beer, when my waitress comes over to me:

Waitress: That guy over there in the hat sent this over to you.

What did he send me you ask? A cup of water. With a lemon wedge.

Umm…

Now this could be seen as a kind gesture. He didn’t want me to get dehydrated. Maybe somehow he knew that I hadn’t had my 8 glasses of water that day. How considerate. But what really took the cake was the note written on a napkin that came with the water:

“Y so lonely? Text me at 555-555-LAME”
I couldn’t take this seriously At all.

I’m not giving up just yet, but I am starting to get slightly frustrated. I need some advice on how to meet more guys. Someone out there have any tips for me? A tried and true method? A referral? Until next time…

Love (and a nap) is all we need,
Sasha

I’m giving each guy a nickname based on something that happened during the date. I may or may not share what that something was…

How we met:
We met while I was out one night in February. Didn’t exchange info when we met. Got reconnected through a friend

His Stats:
26, college educated, member of a Greek-lettered fraternity, white collar job, born and raised in the city we currently live in

The Date:
Grabbing drinks/bar hopping after work

What I Wore (because someone out in SASSY land may think this is important):
Black stretch pants, black tank, dark denim cropped jacket, purple peep-toe pumps and a purple clutch

I was running a little late due to traffic and not being able to decide what I was going to wear (I really should start planning this in advance). When I show up, LL is waiting outside for me despite the chilly temps. He held the door for me (he has basic manners and showed later on in the evening they were more than basic, ie. pulled out chairs, walked on the side closest to the street, etc.) and we picked out a table.

The conversation started out slowly with small talk about work and what we like to do, but after one drink in (he had a vodka tonic; I had a beer), we both relaxed some. We talked about college, our respective Greek organizations, a little bit about our thoughts on marriage, and our childhoods:

LL: Yeah I tried to sell drugs when I was a shorty.
Me (with some slight concern in my voice): Oh, really?
LL: Yeah, but I had to stop. It was too cold outside for me.

I laughed…hard. I don’t know why this is so funny to me but it was. A man who can make me laugh is a plus. I was trying to listen intently to everything he was saying, I kept getting distracted…I kept staring at his lips! They were beautiful: nice and full. And he had a nice smile to go along with it another plus.

The last bar we hit actually had a dance floor so he convinced me to get out there (Note: I don’t dance…at all, so this is huge). We vibe well on the dance floor, and then out of nowhere, he put the lips I had been admiring all night on mine. (Another note: I am not a “kiss on the first date” type of girl)

LL: We’re doing PDA.
Me: Yeah we definitely are doing PDA.

And amazingly, I was cool with that…

So SASSY readers, what are your thoughts on my date? Ladies, do you kiss on the first date? Is bar hopping a good idea for a date? Have you ever done bar hopping for a date? Leave a comment below. Until next time…

Love is all we need,
Sasha

Hi SASSY folks! My name is, well, just call me Sasha, and I’m the newest member of Team Love (I even got my t-shirt!). I joined the team because I’m ready to put myself out there and find love or at least a decent person to kick it with. In order to do that I will be taking part in what I like to call “Extreme Dating.”

My mission is to go on 8 dates with 8 different men within 30 days, which is an average of about 2 a week. A lofty goal I know, but I think it’s attainable. So from April 1st until April 30th, I will be out in the city meeting people, flirting a little more, getting referrals from friends, and maybe even going out with people I wouldn’t normally be pulled to.

By the end of the 30 days I hope to have discovered more about what I like and don’t like in a man, to catch up on all the casual dating I didn’t do in my early 20s, and to just have a good time meeting new people.

A little about me: I’m 27, and I live in a large city somewhere in the US. Went to school got an edumacation and all and now I do the whole 40 hour work week thing. I’ve been described by friends as humorous, outgoing, and effervescent.

Now my love life…well, I haven’t been in a relationship since July 2007. Since then there has been an ebb and flow in my dating life. There are spurts of decent guys who have come around, but nothing has really developed. Then I have these periods (they seem to be really long periods) of where I get no play. I never really did the casual dating thing like most folks do in their early 20s. It was pretty much either a relationship or nothing at all. My last date was in January 2009.

I will be writing about my dates and experiences here on SASSY so stay tuned to hear all of the details!

Love is all we need (I think),
Sasha

No fret, it’s really not the end of the world.  For all my single ladies out there, Valentine’s Day can be more than a glaring reminder that you don’t have a boo.  What’s a single lady to do with a date on Saturday?  Below I share some suggestions:

• Attend one of the many Anti-Valentine’s Day parties out there.  (Here’s one in NYC) I’ve been invited to about three so far.  Just think, you’ll be surrounded by tons of other singles.  Hey, you might even leave with someone special.  If not, worst case, you have a fun night out with the girls.
• Do something for yourself that you’ve been putting off.  Didn’t get that manicure last week, go for it.  Need a back massage, go the spa and pamper yourself.  Did all this wind destroy your hair, go get it done.
• If you’re unhappy about being single, I can’t think of a better time to sign up for speed dating or a dating website. Be proactive homegirl.
• If all else fails, you can follow Very Smart Brotha’s suggestions of volunteering, sending yourself stuff for the big day or simply pleasuring yourself.  Can’t lose that way, huh?

So ladies, what are you doing this weekend?

peace,
e.

I don’t know about you, but for me, 2009 is all about the love.  A few friends and I have dubbed ourselves Team Love for the 09 (we even have t shirts, told you).  So where to look for love?  We seems to be pros and finging the wrong men at the wrong places.  Let’s try to switch it up.

Online dating…  Now before I’ve said that I wouldn’t try it because I wasn’t desperate.  I know, it’s bad but that’s the impression that I had.  But now, I need to logical.  I am always at work.  I am not going to meet any men at work.  I need to find a new option.  While I would love to not work, I need to be logical.  So then I came right back to online dating.

My first thought was, well which service to use? There are so many.  My best friend sent me consumer reviews of the big dating sites, it was pretty helpful.  But then I saw those prices!  $30 a month for match.com, $60 for Chemstry.com?  And then to possibly have to drop some dough on the date.  I had to opt for the affordable (read: free) okcupid.com.

My second thought was, what kind of men am I going to meet on this thing?  While ideally I’d only meet men who were interested in a relationship, I’ve meet quite a spectrum.  Some ask for casual sex straight up, while I can appreciate the honesty, I’m not down for that.   Some want to start talking on the phone right away and set dates to meet in person. I’m taking my time with it.  I mean, dang,I’ve only been on it 3 times.  But overall, the men seems nice.   Racialicious had a pretty interesting post on online dating and people of color.  The comments are great- keep it real and tell you some of what you can expect.

Will I meet “the one,” who knows.  But I’m definitely meeting more men on there than sitting in my office.

So what say we ladies?  Do you online date?  What have your experiences been? Dish.

e.