By now, I’m sure you know that yesterday Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza were sentenced to a maximum of 14 years of hard labor for being in love. The couple, who were arrested following their engagement party are charged with unnatural acts and gross indecency.  Their punishment was given the maximum sentence, which is reserved for “the worst crimes.”  Though not surprising, this sort of intolerance toward homosexuals is not uncommon in Africa, even in the more westernized countries.  This sentencing sets a  bad precedent.

While the White House, Amnesty International, the United Nations and and celebrities like Madonna have condemned the ruling, these words will most likely have no effect.  However, the threat of withdrawing funding from Malawi could help this cause.  Currently 40% of Malawi’s budget comes from foreign aid.  Even this is unlikely as even in America, there are still many hate committed against our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters and many laws barring them from basic rights (hello gay marriage).

There are currently two separate petitions online calling for the release of these two men, you can sign them here and here.

peace,
e.

sources: 1, 2, 3

I feel for Caster.

I mean, dang, she didn’t even know they were testing her gender.  She found out the results of the test the same time the rest of the world did.  And now she is in trauma counseling.  I almost can’t believe it.

For a minute, think about how you would feel if you found out that you weren’t (exactly) what you thought you were.

Gender is confusing.  For most of my life I was taught you were either a woman or a man.  Then I went to Smith and learned of this vast gray area between.  I learned about people born with too many x’s or y’s and what happens when a child is born with ambiguous sex organs (it’s not pretty, doctors and parents pick the gender…yikes).   I was fortunate to learn this from people who were changing from one gender to the other or from people who did not feel they were either, from professors and advisers who had patience with my ignorance and in complete privacy.  I was able to grapple with what it on my own time and in my own way.  Caster did not have that luxury.

The whole situation was a circus.  Look what this woman went through before the tests.  Undid the braids, put on some makeup, jewelery and a dress to “show” us that she’s a woman.  She literally had to say the words “I am not a man.”  Who has to go through this?  Who has to go through this because they are talents?   At this point it was crazy enough.

This whole situation reeks of ageism, sexism, classism and racism.  If Caster Semenyawas some rich, White middle aged man, the world would know the results on his terms.    It blows my mind how IAAF could conduct a gender test and not explain what they were doing to Caster or her parents.  And what in the world did the IAAF think was going to happen when her results were released? It was devastating and degrading enough to have to go through more gender tests and then for the results to be leaked?!  Are we really surprised Caster had a meltdown and is now on suicide watch?  She’s just a kid.  Jeez.

I’m happy South Africa is really ride or die for her.  I’m glad she’s getting support.  And I’m even glad that we’re all getting a lesson about gender.  But it’s all not worth the cost to Ms. Caster Semenya.

peace,
e.

Joe Wilson, you are whylin right now

You know, through most of my Obama’s speech my jaw was on the floor.  Now I didn’t watch that many Bush speeches, but I know when Bush spoke Congress wasn’t booing and heckling and acting crazy in general.  And I really know no one ever yelled “You lie” at the President, in a packed room during a national prodcasted speech.

I just couldn’t believe it.  Who does that?! Someone with absolutely no respect for our President and even less for himself and the people he represents.

So of course afterward he apologizes, but is that enough?  I mean, you can’t play the President and nothing happens.  You can’t call the President a liar and think a simple “my bad” will suffice.  His competition literally cashed in on this outburst, last I read he raised $75K last night alone.  Even other heckling Republicans couldn’t support the foolishness.

We don’t’ have to agree with everything Obama does, but he’s still the President and should be treated as such.  As much smack as we were talking about Bush, no one was crazy (or stupid) enough to say it to his face.  There’s just no need.  That’s the beauty of this country, we are entitled to our opinions.  But there’s a time, place and proper way to disagree.  I might need to add “screaming “you lie” to my list of ways not to fight.

Between this and all the broohaha over Obama telling the kids to stay in school, I’m amazed at how racism has driven every day people crazy.   Yeah I’m going there.  If Obama was White, he would get props for telling kids to take responsibility for their own education.  A people who believe in pulling yourself up by the bootstraps doesn’t want our leader to encourage kids to stay in school and make a better future for themselves? I can tell Obama’s over this, and so am I.

So what are your thoughts?

peace,
e.

why Usher’s fans weren’t digging Tameka Foster (Raymond)?  Yesterday, she took to the Huffington Post and wrote a post entitled “She’s Pretty for a Dark-Skinned Girl…“.  Now in my opinion, she’s already expressed these feelings to the media, but I guess with the impending divorce and recovering from her almost lethal plastic surgery, she wants to reiterate her point.

I am a dark-skinned African American woman with features that reflect my ancestry. Debates regarding Light vs. Dark and other biases have plagued our race for years and continues to impact millions of Black women. The deeply rooted intra-racial contempt that lies beneath this inane “compliment” is the reason I’ve chosen to spark dialogue surrounding the topic of self-hatred in our culture. It saturates every aspect of our lives, dominating the perspectives of our generation as a whole. We culturally are so influential, at times inadvertently, that we affect all with the words we utter and the images we portray. It lends to the theory of systemic racism. I’m authoring this piece because I’m miffed by this reality and would like to share my views on these subjects.

In fact, I have read similar comments about myself that I am “dark, aggressive, bossy and bitchy.” It has been stated that my husband should have been with a “younger, more beautiful” woman. Astoundingly, the majority of the remarks come from African-American women and are mimicked by others. Sadly enough, I don’t know nor have I met 99% of those making these assertions. Funny, how we can judge another without having personally seen, interacted with or experienced a person’s character.

Now she has many good points, people did say he should be with a younger and prettier woman.  And I’m sure a huge chunk of these critics were Black.  And people still give Michelle Obama grief over… well just about everything.  We already know that we struggle with colorism in the community.  We already know the stereotypes we hold about each other.  So I’m lost as to the point of this essay.  It isn’t groundbreaking, doesn’t really add anything to the conversation and doesn’t give the reader any new insight into who Tameka Foster is.

Now is skin color the really real reason Usher fans weren’t feeling her and the bloggers (oh the bloggers) came after her?  I highly doubt it. If you all remember, Usher’s mom was not feeling her and was vocal about it.  Then Usher fired his momager and his fans weren’t having that.  Then there was speculation that she was the reason he broke up with Chilli (and she is not much lighter than Tameka and everyone loved them together).  And becuase their relationship was pretty unusual – older (nonfamous) woman with 3 kids marries supstar?  It was suspect.  Plus, these teeny boopers don’t want to see their beloved Usher married to anyone, the hate was inevitable.

What do you SASSY ladies think?

peace,
e.

First thanks for all your advice and support through the drama that is dealing with our deadbeat roommate.  Yup, that’s him above. If you see him in the DC  area (that’s where he went) and he wants to be your roommate, run screaming in the opposite direction. (That wasn’t very nice of me)

So we decided not to take him to small claims court.  We know that we would win, but we also know that the deadbeat would not show… ever.  And even if he did show, he would not pay.  And small claims courts doesn’t enforce its ruling, so it wouldn’t be worth all the hassle.

Our next option is to send collections after him.  I haven’t figured out how to do this yet, but it might not be worth is as he already has 8 accounts in collections.  So it’s almost like, what’s one more.  (Yeah, he’s a super deadbeat.)

We haven’t seen or heard from the deadbeat since.  One of us would have probably ended up in jail if that had happened, so that’s a relief.

We ended up paying deadbeat’s rent but luckily we quickly found a 3rd roommate to help pay the rest of July’s rent.  He seems really cool.

Oh SASSY ladies (and gents), if you only knew about the day I’ve had today.

Long story short I have a deadbeat roommate.  Early on he showed deadbeat tendencies, such as smoking in his room even though our lease says not and stinking up the house with the smoke.  But I try to see the good in people, and figured that even though he was a jerk most of the time, he would never go into full asshole mode (sorry for the swears Mom).  Today he showed me wrong.

Essentially for 2 weeks we’ve been asking this dude to pay his rent and for 2 weeks he’s said he wants to use his security deposit to do so. *insert screwface here*  Even though that makes no sense (as our lease isn’t up until 2 months and because there’s a 90% chance we’re not going to get that deposit back (see my “f this couch” album for why)), he insisted that this was his plan.  I thought he might split but I didn’t actually do it.  But he did it.  We came home today and his stuff was gone and his keys were on the coffee table.  This fool really moved out when we were at work.  And had the nerve the email saying essentially “I’m out.  Good luck.”  So so lame.

So what’s a SASSY woman to do?

Initially I kicked myself for not changing the lock on his bedroom door.  I figured as long as his stuff was in the house, he couldn’t possibly just split.  A little research showed me that this was illegal, so it’s best that I didn’t actually get around to changing that lock.

So I turned to my favorite lawyer, of Ask Bari fame, and she gave me some good advise.  Essentially she told me, the moment this fool said I’m not paying rent and moved all his stuff out the apartment, he committed anticipatory repudiation. He breached our contract (the lease) and we can now file breach of contract suits against him.  Even though this will be a mega headache, this dude is messing with my money.  And we can’t have that, can we ladies and gents?

Unfortunately, we still have to pay the full amont of rent in the meantime – we all signed the lease and are therefore responsible for paying rent.  It totally sucks, but I’m not going to mess with our landlady, who is a lawyer, and be taken to court myself.

If he’s smart, he’ll send a check for two months of rent and call it a day.  If he’s an idiot, which is very likely, we will see him in small claims court.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

peace,
e.