The increase in travel fees, limited vacation time, and more conservative budgets can sometimes get in the way of a much desired vacation. However, oftentimes a simple change in scenery can provide the temporary escape that you may need.
Infected by the travel bug, I seize any and every opportunity for a new adventure. In this time when we have to be more creative with our time and finances, the “staycation” has quickly become popular. I’d like to share how you can give yourself the joy of a vacay within the boundaries of your hometown (and your budget).
Those of us in New York are fortunate enough to have an endless plethora of things to explore. However, in NY it is also easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the daily commute and the stress of the workday, not to mention overwhelmed by the daily demands of your personal life. With that hectic lifestyle one seldom takes advantage of the opportunity to admire the intricacy of the city that so many others come to witness.
I encourage you, for one whole day, to take a spectator’s perspective on a City Sights NY tour* **. For less than what you would spend on a roundtrip flight, you can view NYC from air (in a helicopter), water (on a Circle Line boat), and land (on a double-decker bus), granting you three unique views. Although you may already be familiar with the city, these tours open your eyes to things you may have never seen before, share information you may have never known, or simply just allow you a whole new perspective and appreciation for where you are.
This would be great for a family outing, a girls’ day out, when hosting out-of-towners, or as a solo adventure. This is also highly recommended for anyone visiting the Big Apple. It is nearly impossible to see NY in a short visit, but these tours do a great job of giving you a broad idea of what this city has to offer.
*City Sights NY offers a variety of tours, any of which are sure to be a great experience.
**If you are only interested in the helicopter tours, go directly to Liberty Tours to save $15.
This weekend I had the opportunity to attend Woodhull’s Young Women’s Ethical Leadership Retreat. It couldn’t have come at a better time. In my life I’m still adjusting to my transition from full time employee to full time student, a different apartment and roommate and all my own personal issues. It came after I did something that wasn’t too ethical and was beating myself up over it and getting beat up over it by the person I did it to. In short, I was kind of a mess. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but Leah and my aunt had both told me it would change my life. I was looking for a change and so I went open minded.
I had forgotten how empowering it can be to be in an all women environment. I had forgotten how supportive we can be. I had forgotten how amazing we can be.
I can’t give away everything we did. But something that kept coming up is how we get in our own way. How we constantly doubt ourselves. How we can’t/won’t own our accomplishments. How hard it is for us to ask for help. So one exercise was to create a superhero power to help you conquer what ever’s holding you back. I had a few but the one that relates most to SASSY is this boot. My superhero power was this boot that would come out and kick me in the butt to push me onto the next thing I have to go. I get so scared of failing (or writing crappy posts) that I just don’t do anything. Which in itself is a major #fail. So what I’ve been doing when I’ve been procrastinating and talking myself out of doing what I need to do is imagining the boot coming out of (hrmm… hadn’t thought of exactly where it comes from, but someplace above – like inspector gadget) and kicking me square in the butt and then I start what I need to. So far it’s been working.
SASSY ladies, I encourage you if you’re in a transitional period or just need some advice/encouragement/support about what’s next. Go to Woodhull. It’s more than some kumbiya session where you hug it out and paint pictures. We also covered negotiation (a skill I desperately want to work on now), financial literacy, and public speaking (talk about shaking like a leaf). It was also a lot of fun. I’m sure that video of me killing “I Want You Back” will be hitting the internet very very soon.
Last Friday I went out with some friends to Beast in Brooklyn, and we had their amazing chopped salad. I don’t normally like chickpeas, but I figured since I devoured my portion of the salad which was chocked full of chickpeas, this would be a dope addition to my Meatless Mondays.
The salad is pretty easy to make, just chop up your fav veggies, toss em in, add some feta and this vinaigrette.
1 small shallot (if you don’t have one, use a red onion)
red wine vinegar
olive oil
To make the salad, rise off the chickpeas, and toss them and all your other veggies into a bowl. Toss in some feta and mix.
To make the vinaigrette, heat oil and challot (either in microwave or low heat on the stove), let this cool. Add red wine vinegar.
To be honest, when I made this last night I hadn’t found this vinaigrette recipe, I just made my regular vinaigrette of red wine vinegar, oil olive, dijon mustard, salt and pepper. Yum.
While at the GW Monthly Networking Event, I was once again reminded of the value of networking. While it is honestly not my favorite thing to do, I have certainly learned to appreciate the value of forming relationships that can undoubtedly help you progress further than if trying to do it alone.
Here are a few tips that I’ve learned so far:
-Be prepared- You definitely want to have an abundant supply of business cards, flyers, brochures and whatever else can not only vividly represent you and/or your business but also leave a lasting impression on your new contacts. It is always better to have more than to run out prematurely. (VistaPrint offer great deals on business cards and other promotional items.) *Attention job seekers: Giving someone your resume may not be appropriate in all situations, but having personal business cards with your contact information (and even a brief objective) is a GREAT investment.
-Be passionate- Passion is contagious, and it will boost your confidence. Even if they don’t remember all of the details you share, they will certainly remember your energy and the feeling you left them with.
-Smile- Some networking situations can be aggressive and somewhat intimidating. However, simply smiling will invite others to approach you. It will also contribute to your confidence in approaching others as well. Plus, it will leave a good impression
-Always seize the opportunity- any and every situation can be seen as a networking opportunity. There is always an opportunity to meet a new person, who could potentially hold something of value to you. Be willing to strike up conversation and find common ground in nontraditional settings (i.e. the airport, elevator, nail salon, etc.).
-Follow up!- it may be hard to remember every single person you meet. Following up with new contacts within 24 hours of meeting them is a great way to make sure they remember YOU and to take that connection a step further.
Princess Wiggins Lyles is a lawyer turned entrepreneur whose online consignment boutique, Affordable Beauty, sells wedding and formal dresses, girl’s dresses and accessories.
What inspired you to start Affordable Beauty?
My love and enjoyment for fashion came from watching the women in my family who always seemed to look fabulous to me. Personally, I have always been pretty cost-conscious but never to the point where I would sacrifice quality. The concept of Affordable Beauty which is an online consignment shop combines my love for fashion and my cost-conscious nature. It’s all about obtaining quality in a cost effective manner by finding formal attire that has rarely been fully utilized.
How has the transition from being a lawyer to business owner been?
The transition has been fine. I practiced law for nearly three years and it just wasn’t my favorite thing in the world to do. I think it surprises others that I actually gave up practicing law. My legal background has helped me in many aspects of my business, for example, in forming my legal business entity and in negotiating with clients.
What are your favorite pieces?
I name each piece that I receive. I really love Turquoise Blues, it’s a floor length formal gown by BCBG Maxaria. If I could fit this piece, it would be mine! Having said that, there are many really nice pieces by other names like Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein.
What are your plans for the future of Affordable Beauty?
The plan is to increase Affordable Beauty’s collections and its visibility as an online consignment gallery. Anyone can contribute to the collection by sending photo’s of wedding gowns and formal gowns they are interested in selling on consignment.
Who or what motivates you?
My husband and my family. My husband because he is so supportive of me and always looks for ways to make any endeavor that we do successful. Anything we do is a “we” effort because we are truly on the same team. My family because I was brought up to believe in the power of my dreams and to know that if I was willing to work hard, I could accomplish anything I put my mind to.
What advice can you offer future entrepreneurs?
There is no time better than the present to start doing what you want to do.
Domestic abuse is an issue that gets sympathy but remains insignificant until it affects you personally. However, as distant as it may seem, it is important to protect yourself and those around you from it before it has the opportunity to get too close for comfort.
The Spring 2009 issue of Her Journey touched on the issue of domestic violence with the help and wisdom of Sil Lai Abrams, a survivor of domestic violence turned women’s empowerment coach. Recent events in the media have shown us that domestic violence is certainly an issue that hits closer to home. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Her Journey has accepted it as part of our responsibility to support this movement.
First, knowing exactly how to define domestic abuse can diminish common misconceptions and better prepare you to identify it before falling victim to it.
According to helpguide.org domestic abuse “occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person [sometimes using] fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you.”
Misconceptions:
It’s not domestic abuse if he doesn’t hit you.
Abuse comes in many forms, including verbal (name calling), emotional and sexual, all warning signs of what could eventually become physical.
It is only domestic abuse if you are married.
Abusive behavior in any intimate relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend, same-sex, etc., is domestic abuse and should not be tolerated. Domestic abuse can even occur after a relationship has ended.
Only women can be victims of domestic abuse.
Although it is more common and severe for female victims, men, too, can be victims of domestic abuse.
Okay, now we know exactly what it is, but how serious is it?
According to CDC Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey 2005, 1 in 4 women in the U.S. are victims of domestic abuse at some point in their lives
1 out of 3 women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.[1]
What struck an even deeper nerve was finding out that:
Liz Claiborne Inc. Teen Relationship Abuse Survey 2006 reported that 14% of teens said they would do almost anything to keep a boyfriend or girlfriend.
20% of those who have been in a serious relationship have been hit, slapped, or pushed by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
1 in 5 female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner. Abused girls are significantly more likely to get involved in other risky behaviors. They are 4 to 6 times more likely to get pregnant and 8 to 9 times more likely to have tried to commit suicide.[2]
These statistics could make your heart stop:
According to the CDC Adverse Health Conditions and Health Risk Behaviors Associated with Intimate Partner Violence – United States 2005, each year, IPV results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women and nearly 600,000 injuries among men.
An abusive relationship can be a very difficult situation to escape, which is why it is terribly important to prevent it from onset.
The simplest rule: if you are unhappy in a relationship, it is not for you. (I’m not implying that all unhappy situations will result in domestic abuse, but if you are unhappy, you need to reevaluate the relationship.
Be aware of the warning signs:
What kind of relationship did he witness? Many abusers witnessed domestic abuse among their own parents.
How does he handle anger? Men are naturally more aggressive than women, but it is important that he know how to handle that anger properly.
Persistence and disregard for what you say may seem like insignificant details in the beginning but are signs of someone who will do what they have to to get what they want.
Don’t making excuses for him:
“He loves me. He just has a bad temper.” “It’s not his fault. His dad was abusive.” “He needs me. He’s hurting.” His pain is not your problem to mend, especially if he’s hurting you/not at the cost of your own well-being.
“He’ll hurt me if I try to leave” But he’ll hurt you if you stay, repeatedly. It may be difficult and intimidating to leave but you can find support that is greater than him.
“He promised it won’t happen again.” I would only advise considering giving him a second (and only a second, not third) chance after professional help.
According to Allstate Foundation National Poll on Domestic Violence 2004, 3 out of 4 (74%) respondents personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.
1 in 3 teens report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, slapped, choked or physically hurt by his/her partner.[3]
If your friend is in an unhealthy situation, you need to snap her out of her blissful fantasy and encourage her to find her own strength to leave.
The relief of leaving the situation will be a victorious feeling like no other, but I do advise seeking professional assistance to help you to love yourself, your friends, loved ones and another again. Now I’m not telling you to write the next Diary of a Mad Black Woman or reenact Jennifer Lopez’s character in Enough, but I strongly encourage self-defense to keep yourself protected.
I was gonna go to bed – had a long day at school, stressed out and tired. I was reading more tweets about Derrion Albert and got worked up all over again. Then I read another article on CNN about the murder and how they’re trying these 4 teens as adults and I get to bottom and read
Albert’s aunt, Rose Braxton, told CNN affiliate WGN-TV that the family was hurt again when a memorial in Albert’s honor was burned down.
“To go and burn a memorial after such tragedy, then that just speaks for itself to what kind of people they are,” she told WGN-TV.
Pardon my french (and sorry Mom because I know you read this) but WHAT THE FUCK?
What is wrong with us? How you gonna be fighting some rival “gang” and then just beat down other kids who happen to be outside. How you gonna clobber people with railroad ties (where in the world did they even get those)?! How do you stomp someone’s head? Repeatedly. Apparently both “gangs” beat on Derrion, which shows they don’t even know who in the world their “enemies” are. What is wrong with these kids?
So now kids can’t even leave school without worrying about getting beaten down to a bloody pulp? Kids can’t stand outside their community center anymore? What the fuck?
We can’t even mourn people who were killed? We have to now worry if the memorial we create for our loved one is going to be BURNED down because some “gang” members are upset their homeboys are in jail.
It’s enough. It’s too much. It’s senseless.
I don’t even know what the answer is. People want to blame the parents. I used to do that until my brother went through his “I’m a thug/I wanna join a gang and be an asshole” phase. My mom raised both of us in the ‘burbs. She sent both of us to private school. She’s involved in his life and constantly keeps him involved in sports so he’d have no time for that foolishness. But somehow his sophomore year in college he got in with the wrong crowd and lost his ever loving mind. He was out of control. For once in my life, I was scared of my little brother. It was truly a dark time. I don’t know what brought him back – disappointment from his family, disapproval from his peers, hell, maybe even God. I don’t know what bought him back but I’m thankful it did.
My other brother, not so sure where that will end. Do I love him? Of course. Is he a good kid? Around me he is. Do I think he could get caught up in a group mentality and do something completely stupid and senseless and violent. Yes. And that’s what scares me. These kids out here terrorizing Chicago, and New York and Newark and Hartford are our brothers. They are our sons. And we gotta figure out a way to bring them back. Because this shit has got to stop.
Nas wrote a letter to these “warriors” telling them “killing is played out.” Bow Wow made a video telling kids to increase the peace and urged his celebrity peers to speak out. I hope other men that these kids look up to also condemn this senseless violence. I know open letters and PSAs aren’t going to do much. But at least they show these men that yes, you are hurt and upset about the hand you’ve been dealt, but you gotta handle things differently.
I’ll end with this video courtesy of Baratunde of Jack and Jill – This is not normal.
I know, I missed posting the review of I Will Teach You To Be Rich last Friday. School is actually way more time consuming than I anticipated. I’m working on my time management and will be back in the groove soon.
I mean, dang, she didn’t even know they were testing her gender. She found out the results of the test the same time the rest of the world did. And now she is in trauma counseling. I almost can’t believe it.
For a minute, think about how you would feel if you found out that you weren’t (exactly) what you thought you were.
Gender is confusing. For most of my life I was taught you were either a woman or a man. Then I went to Smith and learned of this vast gray area between. I learned about people born with too many x’s or y’s and what happens when a child is born with ambiguous sex organs (it’s not pretty, doctors and parents pick the gender…yikes). I was fortunate to learn this from people who were changing from one gender to the other or from people who did not feel they were either, from professors and advisers who had patience with my ignorance and in complete privacy. I was able to grapple with what it on my own time and in my own way. Caster did not have that luxury.
The whole situation was a circus. Look what this woman went through before the tests. Undid the braids, put on some makeup, jewelery and a dress to “show” us that she’s a woman. She literally had to say the words “I am not a man.” Who has to go through this? Who has to go through this because they are talents? At this point it was crazy enough.
This whole situation reeks of ageism, sexism, classism and racism. If Caster Semenyawas some rich, White middle aged man, the world would know the results on his terms. It blows my mind how IAAF could conduct a gender test and not explain what they were doing to Caster or her parents. And what in the world did the IAAF think was going to happen when her results were released? It was devastating and degrading enough to have to go through more gender tests and then for the results to be leaked?! Are we really surprised Caster had a meltdown and is now on suicide watch? She’s just a kid. Jeez.
I’m happy South Africa is really ride or die for her. I’m glad she’s getting support. And I’m even glad that we’re all getting a lesson about gender. But it’s all not worth the cost to Ms. Caster Semenya.
You know, through most of my Obama’s speech my jaw was on the floor. Now I didn’t watch that many Bush speeches, but I know when Bush spoke Congress wasn’t booing and heckling and acting crazy in general. And I really know no one ever yelled “You lie” at the President, in a packed room during a national prodcasted speech.
I just couldn’t believe it. Who does that?! Someone with absolutely no respect for our President and even less for himself and the people he represents.
So of course afterward he apologizes, but is that enough? I mean, you can’t play the President and nothing happens. You can’t call the President a liar and think a simple “my bad” will suffice. His competition literally cashed in on this outburst, last I read he raised $75K last night alone. Even other heckling Republicans couldn’t support the foolishness.
We don’t’ have to agree with everything Obama does, but he’s still the President and should be treated as such. As much smack as we were talking about Bush, no one was crazy (or stupid) enough to say it to his face. There’s just no need. That’s the beauty of this country, we are entitled to our opinions. But there’s a time, place and proper way to disagree. I might need to add “screaming “you lie” to my list of ways not to fight.
Between this and all the broohaha over Obama telling the kids to stay in school, I’m amazed at how racism has driven every day people crazy. Yeah I’m going there. If Obama was White, he would get props for telling kids to take responsibility for their own education. A people who believe in pulling yourself up by the bootstraps doesn’t want our leader to encourage kids to stay in school and make a better future for themselves? I can tell Obama’s over this, and so am I.
Princess Wiggins Lyles is a lawyer turned entrepreneur whose online consignment boutique, 
