By now, I’m sure you know that yesterday Tiwonge Chimbalanga and Steven Monjeza were sentenced to a maximum of 14 years of hard labor for being in love. The couple, who were arrested following their engagement party are charged with unnatural acts and gross indecency.  Their punishment was given the maximum sentence, which is reserved for “the worst crimes.”  Though not surprising, this sort of intolerance toward homosexuals is not uncommon in Africa, even in the more westernized countries.  This sentencing sets a  bad precedent.

While the White House, Amnesty International, the United Nations and and celebrities like Madonna have condemned the ruling, these words will most likely have no effect.  However, the threat of withdrawing funding from Malawi could help this cause.  Currently 40% of Malawi’s budget comes from foreign aid.  Even this is unlikely as even in America, there are still many hate committed against our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters and many laws barring them from basic rights (hello gay marriage).

There are currently two separate petitions online calling for the release of these two men, you can sign them here and here.

peace,
e.

sources: 1, 2, 3

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend Woodhull’s Young Women’s Ethical Leadership Retreat.  It couldn’t have come at a better time.  In my life I’m still adjusting to my transition from full time employee to full time student, a different apartment and roommate and all my own personal issues.  It came after I did something that wasn’t too ethical and was beating myself up over it and getting beat up over it by the person I did it to.  In short, I was kind of a mess.  I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect,  but Leah and my aunt had both told me it would change my life.  I was looking for a change and so I went open minded.

I had forgotten how empowering it can be to be in an all women environment.  I had forgotten how supportive we can be.  I had forgotten how amazing we can be.

I can’t give away everything we did.  But something that kept coming up is how we get in our own way.  How we constantly doubt ourselves.  How we can’t/won’t own our accomplishments.  How hard it is for us to ask for help. So one exercise was to create a superhero power to help you conquer what ever’s holding you back.  I had a few but the one that relates most to SASSY is this boot.  My superhero power was this boot that would come out and kick me in the butt to push me onto the next thing I have to go.  I get so scared of failing (or writing crappy posts) that I just don’t do anything.  Which in itself is a major #fail.  So what I’ve been doing when I’ve been procrastinating and talking myself out of doing what I need to do is imagining the boot coming out of (hrmm… hadn’t thought of exactly where it comes from, but someplace above – like inspector gadget) and kicking me square in the butt and then I start what I need to.  So far it’s been working.

SASSY ladies, I encourage you if you’re in a transitional period or just need some advice/encouragement/support about what’s next.  Go to Woodhull.  It’s more than some kumbiya session where you hug it out and paint pictures.  We also covered negotiation (a skill I desperately want to work on now), financial literacy, and public speaking (talk about shaking like a leaf).  It was also a lot of fun.  I’m sure that video of me killing “I Want You Back” will be hitting the internet very very soon.

Thank you Woodhull Insititue for Ethical Leadership.  Thank you Woodhull 72.

peace,
e.

I was gonna go to bed – had a long day at school, stressed out and tired.  I was reading more tweets about Derrion Albert and got worked up all over again.  Then I read another article on CNN about the murder and how they’re trying these 4 teens as adults and I get to bottom and read

Albert’s aunt, Rose Braxton, told CNN affiliate WGN-TV that the family was hurt again when a memorial in Albert’s honor was burned down.

“To go and burn a memorial after such tragedy, then that just speaks for itself to what kind of people they are,” she told WGN-TV.

Pardon my french (and sorry Mom because I know you read this) but WHAT THE FUCK?

What is wrong with us?  How you gonna be fighting some rival “gang” and then just beat down other kids who happen to be outside.  How you gonna clobber people with railroad ties (where in the world did they even get those)?!  How do you stomp someone’s head? Repeatedly.  Apparently both “gangs” beat on Derrion, which shows they don’t even know who in the world their “enemies” are.  What is wrong with these kids?

So now kids can’t even leave school without worrying about getting beaten down to a bloody pulp?  Kids can’t stand outside their community center anymore? What the fuck?

We can’t even mourn people who were killed?  We have to now worry if the memorial we create for our loved one is going to be BURNED down because some “gang” members are upset their homeboys are in jail.

It’s enough.  It’s too much.  It’s senseless.

I don’t even know what the answer is.  People want to blame the parents.  I used to do that until my brother went through his “I’m a thug/I wanna join a gang and be an asshole” phase.  My mom raised both of us in the ‘burbs.  She sent both of us to private school.  She’s involved in his life and constantly keeps him involved in sports so he’d have no time for that foolishness.  But somehow his sophomore year in college he got in with the wrong crowd and lost his ever loving mind.  He was out of control.  For once in my life, I was scared of my little brother.  It was truly a dark time.  I don’t know what brought him back – disappointment from his family, disapproval from his peers, hell, maybe even God.  I don’t know what bought him back but I’m thankful it did.

My other brother, not so sure where that will end.  Do I love him?  Of course.  Is he a good kid?  Around me he is.  Do I think he could get caught up in a group mentality and do something completely stupid and senseless and violent.  Yes.  And that’s what scares me.  These kids out here terrorizing Chicago, and New York and Newark and Hartford are our brothers.  They are our sons.  And we gotta figure out a way to bring them back.  Because this shit has got to stop.

Nas wrote a letter to these “warriors” telling them “killing is played out.”  Bow Wow made a video telling kids to increase the peace and urged his celebrity peers to speak out.  I hope other men that these kids look up to also condemn this senseless violence.  I know open letters and PSAs aren’t going to do much.  But at least they show these men that yes, you are hurt and upset about the hand you’ve been dealt, but you gotta handle things differently.

I’ll end with this video courtesy of Baratunde of Jack and Jill – This is not normal.

peace,
e.

why Usher’s fans weren’t digging Tameka Foster (Raymond)?  Yesterday, she took to the Huffington Post and wrote a post entitled “She’s Pretty for a Dark-Skinned Girl…“.  Now in my opinion, she’s already expressed these feelings to the media, but I guess with the impending divorce and recovering from her almost lethal plastic surgery, she wants to reiterate her point.

I am a dark-skinned African American woman with features that reflect my ancestry. Debates regarding Light vs. Dark and other biases have plagued our race for years and continues to impact millions of Black women. The deeply rooted intra-racial contempt that lies beneath this inane “compliment” is the reason I’ve chosen to spark dialogue surrounding the topic of self-hatred in our culture. It saturates every aspect of our lives, dominating the perspectives of our generation as a whole. We culturally are so influential, at times inadvertently, that we affect all with the words we utter and the images we portray. It lends to the theory of systemic racism. I’m authoring this piece because I’m miffed by this reality and would like to share my views on these subjects.

In fact, I have read similar comments about myself that I am “dark, aggressive, bossy and bitchy.” It has been stated that my husband should have been with a “younger, more beautiful” woman. Astoundingly, the majority of the remarks come from African-American women and are mimicked by others. Sadly enough, I don’t know nor have I met 99% of those making these assertions. Funny, how we can judge another without having personally seen, interacted with or experienced a person’s character.

Now she has many good points, people did say he should be with a younger and prettier woman.  And I’m sure a huge chunk of these critics were Black.  And people still give Michelle Obama grief over… well just about everything.  We already know that we struggle with colorism in the community.  We already know the stereotypes we hold about each other.  So I’m lost as to the point of this essay.  It isn’t groundbreaking, doesn’t really add anything to the conversation and doesn’t give the reader any new insight into who Tameka Foster is.

Now is skin color the really real reason Usher fans weren’t feeling her and the bloggers (oh the bloggers) came after her?  I highly doubt it. If you all remember, Usher’s mom was not feeling her and was vocal about it.  Then Usher fired his momager and his fans weren’t having that.  Then there was speculation that she was the reason he broke up with Chilli (and she is not much lighter than Tameka and everyone loved them together).  And becuase their relationship was pretty unusual – older (nonfamous) woman with 3 kids marries supstar?  It was suspect.  Plus, these teeny boopers don’t want to see their beloved Usher married to anyone, the hate was inevitable.

What do you SASSY ladies think?

peace,
e.

I’m sure by now you’ve seen the tragic video of Neda Soltan‘s death.  It is heartbreaking.  And it makes me so angry.

The details about her are hazy. I’ve read that she was 16, I’ve read that she was 27.  One report said she was a philosphy student, another said she was into music.  One said she was engaged, another said she was dating.  None of it matters.  She was a human, and humans deserve better than to be randomly shot and to die in the street in their father’s arms.

I get why Obama’s not doing more, I understand his restraint.  But what is going on in Iran is simply out of control.  People are dying every single day for democracy.  What is it going to take for the people of Iran to have some freedom, to have their voice heard?  Are we supposed to be waiting for another Islamic Revolution?

I’m not sure what to do – I mean sure it’s fine to tint my avatar green or change the timezone on my twitter, but I want to do more.  It’s just so upsetting.

EDIT: You could also sign this letter to the UN asking them to intervene.

peace,
e.

Ok it is really getting crazy out there.  By now I’m sure you’re heard about Deputy Paul Schene beating the daylights out of 15 year old Malika Calhoun because she was being “lippy.” It’s graphic.

And then I was lurking over at PostBougie, and see that 2 NYPD officers are charged with raping an intoxicated woman.  What in the world is going on with the police? These are the people who are supposed to protect us and they are beating and raping us?  I’m just beyond frustrated.  Jeez, what a young woman to do in the 09? Thoughts ladies?

peace,
e.

Do you have to go to work today?

Do you have big plans of lying in bed all day?

Do you have plans at all?  If not, there’s still time to go out and help others.  Not sure where to start, try here or here.  Check out mlk.gov for a lot more ideas.

Still don’t want to go out, well at least catch the full I have a Dream Speech.  Remember why we have this day.

peace,
e.