Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what it really means to love yourself. Especially, if your in a situation where you’re constantly giving to another person. Whether it is because you are a parent, a wife, a caregiver or what have you; it may be difficult to find time to really love yourself the way that you should. What does it really mean to love yourself? Is it about making yourself a cup of hot chocolate when you’re cold? Is it about buying yourself a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside? I see the statement, ‘you must first love yourself….’ alot, but there is not enough emphasis on how to really do that.

Love is such a loaded word that many people define differently. Traditionally, love is defined as having a deep affection or feeling of devotion. But to truly be in love with thyself goes beyond caring for your basic needs. It means to empathize completely; to understand and identify with yourself; to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It by no means encourages arrogance or feelings of conceit but this kind of love is about recognizing your self worth and those things that make you uniquely fabulous.

Doing these things means first taking a self inventory. You’re probably thinking, what does taking inventory mean? Well, it means acknowledging both your strengths and your weaknesses and not only embracing them but also finding ways to develop those talents that make you great and finding the resources to strengthen those things that tear you down. It’s ok accept that nose that you think may be too big for your face. Embrace that! You were born with it and therefore cannot change it. Know that with all your imperfections, those are the same things that makes you fly, fierce and fabulous.

Taking self inventory also means forgiving yourself for things you’ve done in the past by letting go of yesterday and look towards tomorrow. It means that it’s okay to take a moment for yourself. Now, this is an area that most women struggle with. Personally, I find it easier and more natural to make sure everyone else is fed, hydrated and clothed. But when it comes to myself, remembering to eat dinner can sometimes be a chore. I have realized that I dont take enough time to myself to do those things that makes me happy. That is essential. Finding time for your own happiness is key in learning to truly be in love with you. Oftentimes, we hear we cannot properly love another without loving ourselves but lets extend that – we cannot properly exist without learning to first take time to embrace our uniqueness and nurture our passions.

A great way to do this is to court yourself. Treat yourself the way you would want to be treated by someone you hope will fall in love with you. If you like art, go to a gallery. If you like to cook, find a new recipe and try it out. If you like to write, buy a new journal and pen your thoughts. Whatever it may be do it! Even if you dont have anyone to do it with you, go anyway.  The idea is for you to get to know yourself and understand the things that you like and make you happiest. In the end, you will find that you are able to smile more, laugh more, live fruitfully and pay more attention to the small things in life that before may have gone unnoticed.

If you find it difficult to begin on this journey of falling in love with yourself, just remember that any good love takes time. Give yourself the time you deserve to establish a love for yourself that will last a lifetime. You don’t want a one night stand with yourself, you want an enchanted and eternal love. After all, regardless of who you may end up with, which professional road you may travel, or which zipcode you reside in – at the end of the day, you will still be you. And that you deserves to be loved, pampered and nurtured. So, if you only do one thing for yourself today – let it be to make a commitment to fall in love with the wonderfully fabulous YOU!

credit: Piotr Bizior: http://www.bizior.com

As summer approaches and we stand in the midst of a weakened and unstable economy ( though things are beginning to look up), most of us are trying to find ways to escape the monotony of our daily grind. Since most of us are no longer in college and do not get an official spring/summer break, not only are we left with trying to find creative ways to vacation but now also faced with finding the time to sneak away for a bit.

Being the SASSY and frugally savvy sista’s and brothers that we are, this should be a small and relatively easy feat. I can understand that you may be unsure of where to begin and how to get the most bang for your buck. Check out this list of ideas and things to remember for quick, cheap and painlessly fabulous mini-vacation spots that can be just around the corner from where you call home.

Tip #1. Take the road less traveled. What I mean by that, is if you can travel by car do it! It will be the best and cheapest way to go. Although gas prices over the summer seem to always sky rocket, the price of fuel for a round trip destination will cost you up to 50% less than if you were to travel by plane. Also an added bonus is that you wont have to pay to check your luggage since trunk space is always free.

Tip #2. Stay close to home. Get on the web and research the largest cities closest to you in each neighboring state, then visit their official state website to check out the attractions they have to offer. You never know, the perfect vacation may only be a couple hours away.

Tip #3. Bundle your costs. If you must fly, leave on non peak days (Tuesday – Thursday). Try and book weeks in advance through a wholesale website such as Expedia, Hotwire, Priceline or Orbitz. Many of these sites are running summer promotions that can get you to and from major cities to other destinations for as little as $99 round trip. By booking your hotel, airfare and rental car prices together you can save a considerable amount of money.

Tip #4. Use your available discounts. Everyone loves to get something free but the next best thing to free is to get it discounted. Some discounts you may be able to use to cheapen your trip are student discounts, military (if your active or a dependent), AAA, government (you qualify for this discount if you hold a federal or state work ID) and many others. Take advantage of what’s available to you to get the most bang for your buck.

Tip #5 Split the price. If you have a group of really fun people who are all looking to get away, travel together. By splitting the cost of the trip you can save up to 25% on your accommodations if you travel with 3 or more people. Additionally, another alternative for group travel is vacation apartment rentals. They offer more space and are often priced per week instead of per night.

Tip #6. Ride the rails. Travel by train means that you must enjoy “getting there” as much as “being there.” Since it takes a lot longer than flying, you have to make transportation part of the experience. Don’t just think about hopping on a train to get somewhere. Instead, you’re going to the train! And, eventually, it will lead someplace.

Tip #7. Cruise it up. Weekend cruises can be very inexpensive and leave from ports that may be right near you. Discovery Cruise Lines offer several weekend trips to the Bahamas ( although a U.S Passport is required for this destination) which bundle the actual cruise and hotel stays for as little as $59 per person.

Taking these tips into consideration, here are a few cities you may look into traveling to that you may have never considered (well, unless you live near or in one of them. If this is the case, see tip #2):

Chicago, Illinois — Try the Navy Pier for shopping or if your a foodie, hit up the Taste of Chicago
Charleston, South Carolina – Get an old country feel with a coastal flair. Day trips to Daniels or Johns Islands could be great fun
Fort Myers, Florida — Take a visit to the wildlife preserve or its romantic beaches. (Bonus: Hotels on Sanibel and Captiva Islands  are offering a 20% discount on bookings ranging from a week or more. This special ends on June 13, 2009.)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania — A foodie’s dream you can visit eclectic restaurants and sample the traditional cheesesteak or hop on a 90 min train ride to bustling NYC.
Baltimore, Maryland — Take in an Orioles Game or the local fun down at Baltimore’s Inner Harbor
Charlotte, North Carolina — See the orchids at the Daniel Stowe Botanical Garden, the U.S National Whitewater Center or the roaring roller coasters of Carowinds.

If your in the market for a vacation, the most you can do is your homework. You will be able to find a destination that is just what you’re looking for while staying within your price range if you follow the above tips and keep in mind that less is always more. The less money you actually spend on traveling to your destination, the more money you’ll indefinitely have once you arrive. Share with me in the comments any other cost-cutting ways youve found to make your trips less expensive. Are there any other cities youve visited that you would recommend for someone looking to take a mini-vacation?

Wherever your travels may take you this summer or beyond, remember to be sexy, SASSY and safe while you do it!

Mignon's mothers and her son

As Mother’s day rapidly approaches, I find it to be a great opportunity to pay homage to the person who brought me (and all of my splendor) into this world. My dear Mama ( although she tried to semi-roast me the other day because I have outgrown calling her Mommy) is the perfect combination of sass and selflessness, beauty and brawn, humor and humbleness, kindness and discipline. The woman ( and mother ) I have become today is due solely to the fact that she is who she is.

Most unselfish mothers of today would not allow their children to go broke in an effort to shower them with gifts and other expensively overpriced flights of fancy — especially in these such uncertain times. In the grand scheme of things, what moms want most this 10th of May is their kids’ time, a celebration that involves some sparkling conversation, good food and a tiny gift as a token of love.

This sounds like a small battle to fight in making Mother’s day the perfect experience for your dear mama, but quite honestly its a battle that is far better fought in theory than in actuality. The lack of inspiration on what exactly to do for your mama can turn an otherwise joyous holiday into a monstrous headache. Especially if your dealing with a woman like my mama, who already has EVERYTHING so its hard to pinpoint that one thing that she doesn’t have, that she’s really been wanting. So needless to say, I was popping Tylenol like a crazy person and void of Mother’s day inspired ideas. Well, that was before I had a chance to sit and really think about the true essence of Mother’s Day.

Small children have the most genuine approach to love. They like to make things that they have painstakingly put together all in an effort to show how much they love you. Not just on one day, but everyday since in the eyes of a child, everyday is Mother’s Day. As adults, we often lose the genuineness of love and replace it with material things. So instead of really searching our hearts to find something we can do to show our love, we try and figure out the best thing to buy that will properly convey that love. We go into this gift buying frenzy and forget that what Mama really just wants is something that is genuine and comes from our hearts. It may not be from a high-priced store or cost a million dollars, but a genuine love expression will let Mama know that you value her far more than any dollar amount can show.  I think now is as good a time as any to go back to those genuine ideas of love and focus on what it really means to celebrate our mothers.

In the spirit of that revelation, I have crafted a nontraditional and creative gift for my mother that I will present to her this May 10th. I have written something especially for her entitled ‘Mama… a love letter’ which I will present to her in a nice frame. She will love the fact that I sat down and wrote something for her and will know how much I love and celebrate her by the care in which it was written. I urge all of you SASSY folks to try and do something for your mother ( maybe in addition to what you may have already bought for her) that goes beyond a charge on your VISA card.

If your still looking for that perfect last minute gift idea, take a moment to think outside of the box and really take into consideration those things that Mama really cherishes because in the end, it will be the little things that will mean the most to her. And hopefully, as I stated in a portion of my letter, you can show your Mama through the smallest gesture that “if she were a song, she’d be the perfect verse over a tight beat.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Mother’s past, present and future.

Greetings SASSY women (and men)!! This time of year seems to be the busiest for most people and oftentimes, the monotony of our busy lives can sometimes lead us very little time to stop and “smell the roses.”  I was recently reminded of this when a few weekends ago, I was momentarily relieved of my responsibilities and told to “Go Relax!” and “Find something to do!”  Now, being a young woman in her mid-twenties, I would love to say that despite the chaos I sometimes call my life; I know how to kick back and relax.  But not true.

At a time when I should’ve been calling up the closest girlfriend, throwing on my cutest pair of skinny jeans and stilettos and getting my SASSY on, I was standing there dumbfounded trying to figure out what exactly I could do with myself that would allow me to say, “Yes, I got some rest” or “I (insert activity here) and relaxed a bit.”  But, somewhere along the line, I’ve forgotten how to REALLY relax and since this discovery, I’ve been on a quest to figure out what I can do to re-learn how to gain some moments of genuine relaxation in my life amongst all the ripping and running I do on the daily.

The word ‘relax’ means to seek rest or recreation; to become less tense; to cast off social restraint, nervous tension or anxiety.  My life seems to be the exact opposite of all those things.  I tend to stay tense, restrained, and anxious about getting the next thing done, often worrying about that next thing while doing my present thing.  But did you know that the body was not designed to effectively handle multiple stresses at the same time?  So when we overload ourselves with activities and thoughts, our body reacts by making us increasingly fatigued and weakening our immune system, making us more susceptible to colds and infections.

This is why it is important to find time to relax because relaxation helps to keep our stress levels down, and consequently improves our health.  Too little relaxation can result in mental health problems, memory failure and even heart attack – and none of us want that.  By taking time to pamper our minds   gives our bodies that natural rejuvenation it needs to keep us healthy.

In my quest to re-define my ideas of relaxation, I’ve formulated this list of easy to do things you can do to relax. And if you’re a person who finds it hard to relax or have to come to realize that your mind often wanders when you attempt to relax, this list is for you, my SASSY sisters (and brothers).

1. Indulge in a hot bubble bath. Just a 30 minute soak in a warm bubble bath will help you feel relaxed and lighten your mind.  Warm water loosens up muscles, so it’s a great way to feel pampered without doing a lot.  It will also deepen respiration and take any tension away from your body.  So break out your most aromatic candles and bath salts and soak away.
2. Relax with some soothing music. Oftentimes, putting on a good CD, being still and listening has helped ease some relaxation into my day.  Additionally, it is a known fact that music that has a tempo of 60 beats/minute works in harmony with the human heartbeat, and therefore creates a relaxing effect.  It slows down the heart rate, breathing rate and thinking rate, and lets you relax into deep levels of rest.
3. Learn the power of the word “No”.  This one is fairly simple.  If you are constantly bombarded with additional tasks that would cause your life to become more hectic than it is, just say “NO!” to these things.  Be selfish occasionally, the world can go on without you; someone else CAN baby-sit or drive your parents somewhere.  The meeting can wait and the garden/washing/house work can wait too.
4. Go For A Drive – Now this one isn’t for everyone, as some people cannot relax when they are driving.  But if you like to drive ( like I do ), drive somewhere pretty, stop the car and sit and look at the surrounding nature.  You’ll become one with yourself, your environment and free your mind of its stress.
5. Get a massage. Massage techniques are known to cause states of deep relaxation.  As the muscles loosen, the mind releases and lulls you into a state of peace.  Do some research in your city and find a spa that offers affordable massages.  Often you may find that a Swedish massage can run less than $50 if you’re willing to splurge.  Or if your boo’d up, ask them to come over and loosen those muscles for free.
6. Take a nap. Sleep forces our bodies to find states of natural relaxation.  By lying on your back, your muscles relax on their own, allowing you to let go of some of the tension without even trying.  Make sure that you nap without the TV or radio on, as this will force the mind to continue to be active and you’ll absorb those sounds into your psyche – causing you to never enter the REM stage of sleep.

Other things you may want to try: yoga, pilates or deep breathing techniques.

I hope you’ll be inspired by my list to take some time to relax by adopting some of these things or by creating your own imaginative ways to include moments of relaxation in your day.  Share with me in the comments what you SASSY folks do to relax both daily and when you have free time to partake in more lengthy relaxation activities.  If you do nothing today, take a moment to relax!!
Yours in SASSiness and relaxation,
Mignon

Have you ever found yourself in an unpleasant situation? One that you both did not plan for and do not know how to handle? I know I have. It’s such a natural response that when we go through problems we get grumpy, depressed, and the situation we ended up in became worse than it actually was.

Of course I am not saying that we should just accept every bad thing that comes our way. But sometimes, we just need to lighten up and accept the things that happen to us.

However, there is no mistaking that sometimes life deals us cards that we don’t want to play. When that happens, usually, we have no choice but to play them anyway trying our best to use them to our advantage.  But, whatever situation you’ve found yourself stuck in, I’m here to tell you that there is definitely a way out. You’re in your present state for a reason, whether you’d like to admit it or not.

Maybe you want to make the most of your bad situation but don’t know where to start. Well, my suggestion would be to make peace with it and find out what it truly means to accept and love it. I know you probably think I’m nuts for suggesting that you even give place to such an absurd thought, but the minute that you learn to love the things you can’t change, the sooner you will see them transforming in front of your eyes. In learning to love your situation, you must first realize that love extends far beyond that of an intense physical attraction to another person.

I’m speaking about the experience of love, the feeling of intense caring and identification with something, and in this instance that something would be your situation. Loving your situation means that you accept it just as it is, flaws and all, and become willing to nurture it until it grows and changes. When the unforeseen happens, you must learn how to use the situation to your advantage. So in the face of your bad situation, here are some things to remember:

• Accept the fact that choices are long lasting and life changing. Temporary situations are just that… temporary. They will only exist for a season and that alone is worth remembering. However, the choices we make do play a large part in the ways our life changes. So if your situation is a result of a choice you’ve made there is no need to beat yourself up about it. Work on doing those things that it takes to get you to the state of contentment and past the state of resentment.
• Your attitude will determine your outcome. It has been said that one’s true character is revealed in times of adversity.  You must take the time to change your attitude from one of negativity to one of positivity. Overall, the attitude you take while going through your situation will set the stage for the attitude you’ll have once you overcome that situation. It has also been said that the ability to make the best out of a bad situation can play an important role in success.  It is in times of adversity when others see us for who we really are, and not just who we are trying to become.
• Once you’ve made peace with your situation, find something good in it. There is always some good in every situation, whether bad or otherwise. You have to be willing to find that good and embrace it. Just about every bad situation has the seed of an equivalent or even greater good; you just need to know where to look.  This is where a positive mental attitude really comes in handy.  At the very least, bad situations can be written off as a good experience.
• Move from attitude to action. Making the best of a bad situation is all about attitude and action.  First, realize that you may not have any control over the situation but you do have complete control over your response.  Then, choose the appropriate action that will allow you to make the best out of the situation. So instead of insisting on having an attitude, vow to take action! That action is what will transform your situation into your positive destiny. Bad things often happen to good people, but good people take those bad things and turn them into something great!