Ask Bari

by Bari on September 14, 2011 · 1 comment

in advice,Ask Bari,Bari

Dear Bari,

What is the best way to tell a man you’re just not that into him? He’s really nice, but I don’t see it going anywhere.  Just seems wrong to drag this out any further.



Hi Jasmine,

Remember when you were little and your mama or grandmother or someone told you that “honesty was the best policy?”  Yeah, you do?  Well, they were right.  The key here is to be honest but kind and considerate of the other person’s feelings.  That’s just part one of two, though.

No one likes rejection.  You have to keep that in mind.  The second part of this equation, and equally important part I might add, is the method.  We have all this new fangled technology now that allows people to get out of doing things they don’t want to do by avoidance.  Well, simply put, that’s wrong when it comes to break-ups.  If you are going to break up with someone, at least have the decency to do it either face-to-face or by phone.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT break up with someone via text.  It says more about you than it does about them or how you valued your relationship and their time.  It makes you look like a straight donkey.  Now, if you don’t care about your reputation or hurting this dude’s feelings, then have at it.  I’d advice against it because you also don’t know what folks are truly capable of until you hurt their feelings.  If you don’t mind having your tires slashed or bad things said about you in dating game version of telephone, then gon’head and break up with ole boy via text or email.  What happens afterwards is on you, though.

Lastly, treat others how you’d like to be treated.  If nothing else, remember that.  Someone may be wondering the same thing about you in a few months and you know what they say about karma…

Happy dumping!

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1 EMG, Esq 09.15.11 at 10:14 pm

This is the best way ever:

In a candid interview with talk show diva, Wendy Williams, Common revealed that his first love, Erykah Badu dumped him over the phone.

“She handed it to me. I was in my hotel room on tour and … she called me and was like, ‘Hey, I don’t wanna be in this relationship no more. I’m liking somebody else,’” the rapper-actor revealed of his ‘Love of My Life (An Ode to Hip-Hop)’ collaborator.

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