Last week I had the privilege to speak at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services forum “The Social Determinants of Health: A Discussion of the Relationship between Marriage and Health Outcomes in African American Communities.” Throughout the day we had panels of researchers explaining marriage (and cohabitation’s) effect on health – there was one entire panel devoted to obesity. Maybe two weeks ago, Belle touched on the topic of how our weight might be affecting our prospects at marriage. My first reaction to the post was “well, duh” but the commentors weren’t having it… at all. It got crazy. Many self proclaimed larger women were going on and on about how they were landing men left and right. But let’s get one thing clear: there is a big difference between some dude you just sleep with and a husband. Many of these women had the former. And if that’s all you want, then that’s cool. But from what I’m hearing, most women want more.
Before I really get into what I want to say, let me lay out some facts for you guys
- Discussions of selection aside, people in better health are more likely to get married (there is a ton of research to back this up)
- Your weight is an indicator of your general health
- Black women are more likely to be considered overweight and obese (and yes, these are very different from thick)
- Black women are less likely to get married than women of other races (yes, yes I know, we’ve been beaten over the head with this all year)
So that said, one researcher found that Black women are more likely to become obese after marriage than women of other races (granted, I think the assumption was that they were already overweight). Well when it came to the Q&A people went in. First it was the excuses that we as women are just too busy to find time to exercise. Look, if Barack Obama can find time to exercise every day, you can find time too. Then it was “but exercising isn’t fun.” Are we being for real? Brushing your teeth isn’t fun, but you do that every day. Putting on makeup isn’t fun (at least not to me) but you’d better believe I take the time to look pretty in the am. Going to work really isn’t fun, but we do that without fail. That excuse is lame and I’m not going to justify that. You’re an adult, grow up. Then came the one I was waiting for – “but my hair.”
Black women look at it like this: it’s your hair or your life. And I’m serious. I can think of no worse reason to die young(er than everyone else) than the desire for your hair to look good. We talked about how much our hair costs, how long it takes to do our hair, how we need to look good. It all. It was pathetic. Surrounded by these amazing women doing amazing things and most of them were overweight and complaining about their hair. Later while discussing this with another panelist, he bought up the fact that a lot of women he knows don’t like working out in the gym because they don’t want men to see them sweating. Women, please stop the madness. A). I’m sure you’re still gorgeous under all your makeup and B). you’re supposed to look at little crazy at the gym, that’s how you know you’re doing it right (and trust, sometimes we are doing it all wrong at the gym, but that is another post).
Unsure if you are overweight or obese, check your BMI (yes I know this isn’t the *best* method, but it’s start) or better yet, check your percentage body fat. Most gyms should have a machine that will check it for you, or you can buy one yourself
So please, love yourself, take it to the gym, eat better and be happy.
peace,
e.
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I completely agree. I started getting serious about my health a little over a year ago and step one was dropping all the lame excuses and making it priority. I really felt like I bought into the “love your body for what it is” and “big girls rock”, but the reality of it was that I was setting myself up for a whole bunch of problems later on in life. It can get ugly. Now I will never be a size 4, but I can absolutely get down to size that will make a healthier person. Besides, looking better is just a bonus compared to how good it feels. Thanks for posting this Eva!