Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of what it really means to love yourself. Especially, if your in a situation where you’re constantly giving to another person. Whether it is because you are a parent, a wife, a caregiver or what have you; it may be difficult to find time to really love yourself the way that you should. What does it really mean to love yourself? Is it about making yourself a cup of hot chocolate when you’re cold? Is it about buying yourself a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it’s freezing outside? I see the statement, ‘you must first love yourself….’ alot, but there is not enough emphasis on how to really do that.
Love is such a loaded word that many people define differently. Traditionally, love is defined as having a deep affection or feeling of devotion. But to truly be in love with thyself goes beyond caring for your basic needs. It means to empathize completely; to understand and identify with yourself; to accept yourself as you are and to come to terms with those aspects of yourself that you cannot change. It by no means encourages arrogance or feelings of conceit but this kind of love is about recognizing your self worth and those things that make you uniquely fabulous.
Doing these things means first taking a self inventory. You’re probably thinking, what does taking inventory mean? Well, it means acknowledging both your strengths and your weaknesses and not only embracing them but also finding ways to develop those talents that make you great and finding the resources to strengthen those things that tear you down. It’s ok accept that nose that you think may be too big for your face. Embrace that! You were born with it and therefore cannot change it. Know that with all your imperfections, those are the same things that makes you fly, fierce and fabulous.
Taking self inventory also means forgiving yourself for things you’ve done in the past by letting go of yesterday and look towards tomorrow. It means that it’s okay to take a moment for yourself. Now, this is an area that most women struggle with. Personally, I find it easier and more natural to make sure everyone else is fed, hydrated and clothed. But when it comes to myself, remembering to eat dinner can sometimes be a chore. I have realized that I dont take enough time to myself to do those things that makes me happy. That is essential. Finding time for your own happiness is key in learning to truly be in love with you. Oftentimes, we hear we cannot properly love another without loving ourselves but lets extend that – we cannot properly exist without learning to first take time to embrace our uniqueness and nurture our passions.
A great way to do this is to court yourself. Treat yourself the way you would want to be treated by someone you hope will fall in love with you. If you like art, go to a gallery. If you like to cook, find a new recipe and try it out. If you like to write, buy a new journal and pen your thoughts. Whatever it may be do it! Even if you dont have anyone to do it with you, go anyway. The idea is for you to get to know yourself and understand the things that you like and make you happiest. In the end, you will find that you are able to smile more, laugh more, live fruitfully and pay more attention to the small things in life that before may have gone unnoticed.
If you find it difficult to begin on this journey of falling in love with yourself, just remember that any good love takes time. Give yourself the time you deserve to establish a love for yourself that will last a lifetime. You don’t want a one night stand with yourself, you want an enchanted and eternal love. After all, regardless of who you may end up with, which professional road you may travel, or which zipcode you reside in – at the end of the day, you will still be you. And that you deserves to be loved, pampered and nurtured. So, if you only do one thing for yourself today – let it be to make a commitment to fall in love with the wonderfully fabulous YOU!
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i like this post. loving yourself is a hills-and-valleys process i think. it is something we often put on the back burner but it should be at the top of our lists.
i love myself every time i drag myself to the gym! lol
This reminds me of that episode when Joan from Girlfriends took herself out on a date. It IS such a liberating experience, especially when you really treat yourself and allow yourself to indulge in something you thoroughly enjoy.
I think I’m going to take myself out: something that involves chocolate and wine