I’m giving each guy a nickname based on something that happened during the date. I may or may not share what that something was…
How we met:
We met while I was out one night in February. Didn’t exchange info when we met. Got reconnected through a friend
His Stats:
26, college educated, member of a Greek-lettered fraternity, white collar job, born and raised in the city we currently live in
The Date:
Grabbing drinks/bar hopping after work
What I Wore (because someone out in SASSY land may think this is important):
Black stretch pants, black tank, dark denim cropped jacket, purple peep-toe pumps and a purple clutch
I was running a little late due to traffic and not being able to decide what I was going to wear (I really should start planning this in advance). When I show up, LL is waiting outside for me despite the chilly temps. He held the door for me (he has basic manners and showed later on in the evening they were more than basic, ie. pulled out chairs, walked on the side closest to the street, etc.) and we picked out a table.
The conversation started out slowly with small talk about work and what we like to do, but after one drink in (he had a vodka tonic; I had a beer), we both relaxed some. We talked about college, our respective Greek organizations, a little bit about our thoughts on marriage, and our childhoods:
LL: Yeah I tried to sell drugs when I was a shorty.
Me (with some slight concern in my voice): Oh, really?
LL: Yeah, but I had to stop. It was too cold outside for me.
I laughed…hard. I don’t know why this is so funny to me but it was. A man who can make me laugh is a plus. I was trying to listen intently to everything he was saying, I kept getting distracted…I kept staring at his lips! They were beautiful: nice and full. And he had a nice smile to go along with it another plus.
The last bar we hit actually had a dance floor so he convinced me to get out there (Note: I don’t dance…at all, so this is huge). We vibe well on the dance floor, and then out of nowhere, he put the lips I had been admiring all night on mine. (Another note: I am not a “kiss on the first date” type of girl)
LL: We’re doing PDA.
Me: Yeah we definitely are doing PDA.
And amazingly, I was cool with that…
So SASSY readers, what are your thoughts on my date? Ladies, do you kiss on the first date? Is bar hopping a good idea for a date? Have you ever done bar hopping for a date? Leave a comment below. Until next time…
Love is all we need,
Sasha
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Sasha,
This guy sounds like a lot fun and he’s ecducated, whoa! What a catch? Most women know in the first five minutes of meeting a man whether or not they want to see a guy again. How did you know you wanted to spend more time with LL?
PS – Kissing on the first date is practically a must! If he can’t kiss well
there’s not point in wasting time, it proably means other areas aren’t on point either!
Betty
Can we get a studio audience sound effect for ‘ethnic kiss’? “Whhoooooooooo!!!”
Yes we can!
LL = luscious lips
Nice guess Anon but nope that’s not it
I think there are no hard and fast rules for first-date decorum (other than, it’s probably NOT best to have sex). You should roll with how you feel, and you felt like a quick kiss was cool, so that’s nice.
Interesting that he got your guard down physically and mentally. Could be a sign that he’s way too smooth (oh and our brothas are definitely smooth), or that something really clicked on a deeper level.
Bar-hopping is fun too (it’s what I did on my first date w/ my dude and we’ve been together for 2 years), but if you drink too much, it could make you sloppy. Again, I think its all about how comfortable you feel.
Well, I think I know where the LL nickname came from…:-)
Sounds like you all connected very well.
I wouldn’t say it has been a “rule”, so to speak, but generally, I’ve never kissed a guy on the first date. As for the bar hopping, at times, it’s usually not a good idea to involve excessive amounts of alcohol because “things” might happen that wouldn’t have necessarily happened had you been sober. But hey…as long as you don’t regret it the next day I suppose.
So…have you heard from him since the date?
LL Cool J
@NerdwithSwag: It’s rare that I get sloppy (my last sloppy episode was my birthday so I get a pass, right?). Plus I had to drive home so I kept it light and drank plenty of water.
@Just-US: No regrets at all. I have heard from him…we went out again for dinner
@Dee: Nope not that either. But good guess
Kissing is cool and sex is too. When the mood is right, it’s right. Besides, I slept with my dude the first night and we got married 2 months ago.
Sounds like a fun first date. The bar hopping idea was cool. Gives you the alternative of cutting your losses if there is no connection, or keeping the good time going if you are enjoying your company. lol, not sure that would work in my big city because even though it’s big, it’s really small.
There are no ‘rules,’ per se, but I can already see that your physical attraction to him could potentially cloud your common sense. I know one too many people who do the let their southern loins make decisions rather than their heart or their brain…and once their heart and brain catch up they’re disappointed. Continue having fun and if you want a relationship…let your heart/brain lead, not your lady parts!
I totally agree with K.I.M.!
And remember, Sasha, you still have ’7′ more guys to go…so choose wisely who you get “loose” with. You can’t have yourself out there like that! With that being said, I’m sure you will not have the same connection with every guy. Just use discretion…that’s all.
Looks like date #1 is a win! But you do have at least 8 other elgible bachelors, so don’t get too hooked into the 1st. I don’t have a problem with kissing on the 1st date; go with the flow. Sex on a 1st date isn’t as good of an idea (exchange birthdays, middle names, something). It’s good that you kept it light while bar hopping; know and adhere to your own limits. Are we getting an update on date #2 w/bachelor #1??
Sounds like a great 1st date! Kissing sounds like it was called for considering the chemistry between the two of you…good that you stopped there though. Bar hopping – cool date idea…nice to be able to see him in different atmospheres all in 1 night.
P.S. Does he know you’re blogging about him? Just curious:)
Thanks for the feedback everyone!!
BeeK: none of the guys will know that I’m writing about them. I think if they knew they would try to overdo it on the dates and not be their true selves.