for real? Is this requisite line of every black chick on reality shows?
Last night I watched the premiere of Real Chance of Love. Yes, the show is as terrible as its title and horrendous wardrobe. Who dresses theses guys?!
But please slip me the number of real’s hair dresser because I WISH my hair had that shine.
At any rate, the show is basically Flavor of Love (my fav) but with two clowns and too many angry women. The black women were so angry. The white women were so “color blind.” The show was absolutely ridiculous but one part struck me, the mandatory “I’m not here for friends” line that somehow turned into a really huge fight. It went like this.
White woman: We should be buddies.
Black woman: I’m not here for friends.
White woman: Ok *walks away*
Black woman immediately starts talking shit to other women about how the White women wanted to be friends. She threw in the “She’s here for the wrong thing, she’s not real” line and the others giggle.
White women: *over hearing this (because of course the Black woman was extra loud)* Are you talking about me?
Black woman (yelling): YES! I AM NOT HERE FOR FRIENDS!
Uhm, what in the world? Don’t believe me, watch it here. That was annoying. What was more disturbing to hear it in real life [editor's note: rest of paragraph deleted b/c said woman was offended]
SASSY ladies, lemme break something down for you. You need friends. You need friends at school, you need friends at work, you need friends in your life. I know this macho “I don’t need friends” bs makes you feel like you’re an independent woman, but for real, you sound foolish.
Why do you need friends? Well besides the fact that friends are awesome, they can benefit you. You can study with your friends at school. Friends at work can help you with your projects, they can keep you from putting your foot in your mouth at meetings. Friends at both can support you when people start acting crazy (it’s inevitable). I love friends.
If the friends at work and school aren’t awesome, perhaps you aren’t choosing them wisely. The office gossip, probably not the one you should be a bff with. The loud mouth who’s always playing people in class, while funny, is not the one that you want to share your insecurities with.
Choose wisely and please make some friends.
peace,
e.
crossposted at evahaldane.com
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
im glad you’re my friend.
Yes people need friends, but not just *any* friends. I wouldn’t be trying to make friends on a reality show either, and especially not _that_ one. I bet you’d make better friends in prison…
Ok, that picture alone is enough to make me swear off watching reality shows FOR LIFE!! But fortunately for me, I’ve already taken that step. Why waste time you can’t get back?
Great post. I agree, the “right” kinds of friends are very important. We are so eager to be in competition/have tunnel vision/be individualistic that we no longer value the concept of community in a lot of cases.
hear hear!!!!
“I’m not here to be anyone’s friend” has got to be the single worst thing anyone could say at work. And sadly, I only ever hear it from black women. That’s an issue. Why do we go to work with this attitude? I’m not saying you must be BFFs with everyone, but until everyone pisses you off, be nice! Not fake nice, either. Truth is, you’ll need them at some point. And it helps to know that for 40 hours a week, you’re not hated by all who surround you. I’ve made some very good friends from work. Its worth it to get to know people on a deeper level. No one says you have to tell all your business and whatnot, but just knowing a thing or two about your co-workers, smiling at them, and just being congenial goes a very long way. It goes soooooo much further than “I’m not here for friends.”