Peace Ladies

I firmly believe the Cosby show is a gold standard, but it did our late Gen Xers and Yers/Millennials a disservice. That’s all I’m saying. People are going into relationships with unrealistic expectations.

And you’re right…I shouldn’t judge your mindset. I just find Tyler Perry movies simple as hell. He dresses up the same characters in the same “clothes” (traits), and just changes the names. Professional, white-collar educated characters are always “bad” or need to be taught a lesson by the blue-collar, hard-working church going character. There’s a choir scene with a big woman in a purple robe, and all is redeemed and right with the world. I’m over it.

She was the breadwinner
He was a good man
She had an affair with a white man and got pregnant
Hubby finds out, gets mad, takes money from their account, confronts wifey, and then beats her up?

Um *pause* rewind

he beat up a woman? and folks are applauding that? whoa… scary scary scary…

Wouldn’t it have been just as effective to have a scene where he confronts her, sues her in court, wins, and then walks out the door?

I’m just shocked at the yay-ra-ra nature of domestic violence…

Bari: Im hoping your a man since you know what “real men” do…comments like that are what i mean about knowing ones place…i can have an opinion on what i believe a woman should and shouldnt do but could never begin to tell you or anyone what a “real woman” does, as i am not a woman…be clear my response is not a rationalization …i used the situation that TFTP gave and then gave my opinion…

1. If all u saw was him taking her money then …wow…one wrong does not justify another so im sure one doesnt justify 20…UMM and lets not forget they both were looking for work at their wedding reception…had he not spoke to white boy neither of them would have had a job…and the only reason she got in the corp office is becuase white boy wanted to hit…and ur right she should have left pre- disrespect, cheating, and having another mans BABY!

2.His bad?! …wow.

3.Sounds like you need to watch a few cosby reruns…claire as well as cliff shared the responsibility of their family.. he cooked sometimes, spent time with his kids, and even when claire became a partner at her firm he took his practice back home…hmmm…. sounds like a lil give and take ….take note sista….sounds like u took the same course in rationalization…lol

4.I never said that i goto Tyler perry movies for enlightenment …but you can extract a lesson from anything…btw noone is the sum of one comment so to assume my mindset on women or any other subject speaks more on your mindset than it would ever speak of mine.

4.

2.

Ummm…several things.

1. I’ll go “toe to toe” with anyone, particularly anyone I don’t have respect for. It was clear she did not respect that man- to that end, she should’ve just left.

Before we forget, while that man was a nice hardworking man, all he had were HER dollars and a dream. He stole from her, from an account he didn’t know about or have access to. If he wanted to be “the man,” then he should have acted like one.

2. There is always a “driver” and a “passenger” in EVERY relationship. The person who loves less is the driver, and is in control of the pace of the relationship and what happens, and when it happens. Not only did your girl love less in that movie, but she was the breadwinner. She was the driver in that situation all day long…and he tolerated it. His bad. Deal with it or walk away, but don’t deliver backhands on your way out of the door.

3. That “don’t go toe to toe” and “respect your man” business sounds like you want a docile creature. Let me help you with something…the Cosby show is the exception, not the rule. That show has men thinking you will find a woman who pulls down 6 figures in a high paying job, have 5 of your kids, have dinner on the table by 7pm nightly (which is NOT the case, since Claire was a firm lawyer), and will want to cuddle up and have witty banter with you at the end of the night…like she’s not tired. If any part of that is missing, then it becomes “you don’t love and respect your man.”

If you want a traditional woman, chances are you will end up with someone who not only wants to stay home and take care of the kids, but wants to spend your money while doing it. One time for golddiggers!

4. What you are doing by rationalizing your behavior and admitting your amazed that stopped with just one slap is showing your penchant for violence, and how easy it is to rationalize the need for it. That’s more dangerous than your actual hand raising to a woman- cause that means that is your mindset.

In short, Tyler Perry, and people that think his movies offer some enlightened window on the world, need Jesus when it comes to male-female relationships when it comes to professional black folks.

Furthermore, please educate yourself on a little ole bill called the Violenece Against Women Act (VAWA), sponsored by Joe Biden back in the day. It’s so important in fact, that it’s part of ConLaw questions on several state bars.

Moral of the story- it’s not in your best interest to rationalize or participate in this type of behavior. If you’re a “real man,” you’ll just pack your shit and walk away.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Violence_Against_Women_Act