In the highly anticipated yet grossly diluted (this is solely my opinion) CNN series “Black in America”, Michael Eric Dyson stated that he feels that he was afforded more opportunities to have a flourishing, prosperous life than his brother because Eric is of a lighter hue and his brother is darker….and thus incarcerated. The “rapper” Yung Berg went public with his preference for light-skinned women over dark-skinned women. The producer Polow da Don has been long accused of shunning black women completely and targeting white women as potential mates, although he actually prefers “white women with a little black in them and black women with a little white in them” (whatever that means). It’s the year 2008, and “colorism” is still an issue that the African- American race deals with. Is it as big of a deal as we make it out to be? Or are we not focusing on it enough?
Who says beauty, intelligence, and prosperity belongs only to African-Americans of a lighter hue? I’ve heard darker African-American females “hate on” lighter African-American females because they feel that men prefer them with their light skin and “wet and wear” curly hair. An African-American male has once said to me that he thinks that “light-skinned women are crazy…they think the world owes them something because they think they are cute.” Is life really harder for those of us who are darker? I can name several darker African-Americans, including myself, who’ve succeeded without scratching and surviving on an extreme level. Oprah Winfrey. Michael Jordan. Condoleezza Rice. Perhaps anything worth having is based on one’s ability to perform vs. what he or she looks like. There are also lighter African-Americans who’ve had unfortunate situations occur in their lives, past and present. Rosa Parks was asked to sit in the back of the bus like all other African-Americans, and Halle Berry has yet to have a successful marriage. She’s been beaten on and cheated on. Can it get any worse than that?
So, when are we going to stop pointing the finger at others and blaming each other for where we are and how we feel about ourselves? Dyson’s brother isn’t incarcerated because he’s darker. He’s incarcerated due to decisions that he made and activities that he chose to participate in. Is it that Sarah wasn’t offered the job because she’s dark, or because she doesn’t interview well? If that guy passes you over because you are darker, then is that someone that you really need to put your energy and effort into? You are where you are based on decisions you’ve made, regardless of what the influence may have been. Own it.
In my opinion, “colorism” becomes an issue when you value what others think about you more than you value your own opinion of yourself. If you believe that you are intelligent, beautiful, and worthy of nothing less than the best, then no man, woman, child, boss, pastor, spouse, or family member should be able to easily take that away from you whether you are dark, light, black, or white. If I had to put myself in one of two buckets, I’d be in the dark-skinned bucket. As a matter of fact, my “hue bucket assignment” was addressed indirectly a few weeks ago. Case in point, I was out partying in Atlanta recently with one of my friends of a lighter hue. Her male friend says to her, “Oh, I see you have your chocolate friends out with you tonight.” Was I offended? No. Why not? Three things: self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love. There’s always room for improvement, and we should all strive to be better people. However, at the end of the day, in the words of Erykah Badu, “I’m alright with me.”
Learn how to block other people and their mess out on occasion, and spend time with yourself. Know yourself. Love yourself and each other. Because society is so wayward and bass-ackward, “colorism” and other “isms” will still exist; however, you’ll be in a better position to combat those negative forces and not let them chip away at your mind, body, and soul.
Build a strong foundation but realize that it starts on the inside, not the outside.
Peace,
Quiana
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow. I really can’t say I feel this article at all. It smacks to me of blaming the victim. I totally agree that darker-skinned women should try to have and maintain a positive sense of self-worth and self-love in the face of colorism. I don’t agree that colorism is only an issue when one internalizes others’ opinions. In post-colonial societies like the U.S. colorism can have real bearing on things like hiring decisions, judgements of academic merit, and a ton of other things way more important than whether or not some dude tries to holler at a club. It fuels actual (concious or sub-concious) discriminatory practices forced onto real people. When people get ticked off about that injustice, to me at least, it makes sense. Sure, for their own well-being it makes sense to strive to over-come those barriers as much as possible, but the barriers aren’t things that they created because they don’t love themselves enough.
Roselyn: co-sign. The idea that colorism exists in the heads of dark-skinned people is ridiculous. WTF?
“Halle Berry is light-skinned and she was cheated on.”
“Oprah is dark-skinned and she’s successful.”
Really?
I suppose then, using this logic, that black people no longer deal with racism because Obama is the likely next president of the United States.
Bloggers, the point of the article is not to question whether these “isms” still exist or whether we are still dealing with them. They do, and we are. The article speaks to the fact that everyone has an opinion in regards to who has it easier or harder based on color…some favor those who are lighter, some favor those who are darker. However, the question is how you choose to deal with it. ONE way (not the only way), is to know who you are, be happy with who you are, and not let other people’s opinions of you or your color make or break you. Of course, there are other areas to consider from a “we the people” standpoint, but I chose to focus on the individual standpoint this time.
Glad that I could spark some controversy and lively discussion. Continue to respond. All comments are welcome and appreciated.
“ONE way (not the only way), is to know who you are, be happy with who you are, and not let other people’s opinions of you or your color make or break you.”
But what you’re ignoring is that other people’s opinions CAN make or break you. That’s what happens when you deviate from normative ideas, whether it’s because you’re too heavy, because you speak a certain way or because your skin is too dark. (Having a “black-sounding” name makes you substantially less likely to get a call back for a job interview, REGARDLESS of the esteem in which you may hold yourself.)
You don’t just will away discrimination by keeping a stiff upper lip. And like Roselyn said, it sounds like you’re victim-blaming here.
I actually am feeling this article. I’m pale. I know that. I have had a darker friend tell me, “Light-skinned women think they’re better than everyone.” How the hell do you respond to that?!?!?
Living in the south is so much different than living in the north — and its all about the skin color issues. In my family, we have people from all hues, and one was never regarded any better than the others (by most). So it perplexed the hell out of me that it mattered to so many other people. I believe that confidence in one’s self has so much to do with this issue. Yes, of course society plays a factor, but you can’t change society — you can, however, change the way you think and feel regarding the issue. You can try to educate others on it. Here in SC, every time I see someone fawn all over a mixed child or a lighter-skinned child, I’m often left shaking my head. They rarely do that to dark-skinned children. I think its horrible. So I like to call people on it when I see it.
I don’t think anyone is saying “its all in your head” because its not. Its everywhere. But what is in your head is how you deal with it.
Thanks to Quiana for deciding to take on this issue. I made a call for this post after hearing what Young Berg said about dark skinned women. As a chocolate complexioned women, I was a bit offended from his comments. It wasn’t the fact that he prefers lighter skinned women, it was the ways in which he made that statement with darker skinned women literally being the “dark-butts” of his jokes/remarks.
I’m feeling each side of the arguement. To truly know and love who you are is very important and not to be descriminated against within the larger society based on not just skin color, but skin complexion, is as equally important.
Tierra says that “you can’t change society”. I would argue that you can. People have died to make changes in this society. People are currently working/fighting to change this society. It can be done, it just calls for people to put in the work.
Barbara, society could be changed, but its so much easier and faster to work from within. This is not to say to give up on it though.
I’m going with the EnVogue school of thought — “I can’t change your mind. You can’t change my color.”
Over time, things can change. I mean, of course we have the example of the Civil rights movement.
I guess I don’t mean that people can’t change, but rather the change has to start from within.
Nice article, Quiana! As a “White-Black”, I’ve grappled with
this issue rather extensively myself, and I think u’re ’100% RITE’!:
I never tripped off color ’til it was made ‘VERY’ plain to me that my hue combined w/intellect was a MAJOR issue with MANY of our people!!
And there ain’t nothin’ wrong w/havin’ preferences as long as we have them for the RITE reasons and WITHOUT ‘HATING’ ON OUR NON-PREFERENCES [[for there's something/one for ERR-BODY!!]]..((feel me?)) LOL
SO, @ THE END OF THE DAY – YES! – IT’S “US” & “OURSELVES”; SO, LET’S “OWN IT!” ‘AND’ “WERK IT”! ~;
P.E.A.C.E.