Here’s the story – girl likes my guy friend. He’s not interested. He tells her he is not interested in a relationship and that he is happily single. The story should end here. Instead of reading the clues the girl continues her chase and says “Oh we should be friends.” (mistake # 1) Now instead of telling her the truth – that’s he doesn’t even want to be friends – the guy says “Sure.” The girls constantly invites the guy to events and the guy constantly tells her “No.” (mistake #2). Then the girl starts badgering their mutual friends about the guy (mistake #3). So now instead of the guy is more than uninterested, he is now annoyed by her and goes out of his way to avoid her. And to add insult to injury now not only does he think she’s crazy, but now so do his friends.
Ladies, it didn’t have to be this way. I hate to do this but recently it’s become too painful to watch us ignore the reality that a brotha we are into is just not into us. So I decided to write this helpful guide to help us avoid being that chick.
As Bari always says, we need to stop rationalizing what’s going on and be real with ourselves.
So what should the girl have done differently? When he said I don’t want a relationship, she should have kept it moving. When he said “I don’t want a relationship,” she added the words “right now” to the end instead of hearing “with you” which is most likely what he meant.
She thought she was slick with the “Let’s be friends” bit but fella don’t fall for that anymore. And we really need to stop thinking life ends like the movies, where the dude will finally realize you were the one for him all along. Ladies, let’s be real, it rarely, if ever, goes down like that.
So what are some clues that he’s REALLY not into you:
- he NEVER calls back
- he NEVER writes back
- he NEVER accepts you invitations to museums, parks, movies, parties or dinner
- if you catch him on AIM or gchat all his responses are one word long
- he stops attending social events where you used to bump into him
- your mutual friends avoid talking with you about him – like they shut the conversation down
Ladies, if the man you are pursuing does any or all of the above to you, you need to take a step back and really think “Is this guy into me?” or if you want to be really real with yourself, “Am I playing myself?”
If you think, “No, this guy really isn’t into me,” you should pat yourself on the back, have a glass of wine and continue on with your life.
If you think, “Yeah this guy is into me, he just doesn’t know it yet/he’s playing hard to get/some other foolish rationalization,” I’m gonna need for you to scroll up and read this post again.
Good luck ladies.
peace,
e.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Very true.
Amen! Great article! I think this should be an on going series of things women do that needs to cease immediately!
haha Angela I just might have to!
Just LOL !
haha. Nice article.
So true! So true!
Have you read “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt? He elaborates on exactly what you said here. He stresses the point that you are worth a man who is so into you that he would go out of his way to make you special and let you know how he feels about you on a regular basis. And as a male, he stresses that when a man is really into a woman, he goes out of his way to let her know that and pursues her.
I definitely recommend it to all women to put some situations into perspective.
And there’s a He’s Just Not That Into You movie coming out. Can’t wait!
In all fairness… you should do a “signs SHE’S not that into you” post… I’m saying, it’s not just man-thirsty chicks all the time