Following suit with Miss Eva’s post on “Where have all the fathers gone?” I’ve been wondering on a broader scale “Where have all the good men gone?” Tyra dedicated one of her shows to the topic, and it is the age old discussion among women. Even though the vast evidence of jerks and disappointments may be discouraging, I’m convinced that there are some good men out there. Chances are that we miss a few good men every day.
Applying the combined knowledge I recently acquired from books, blogs, television and discussions, I’d like to share a few tips to increase your chances for success in identifying some of the good men:
Location. Location. Location.
You should probably frequent places where your type of man hangs out. Tyra suggested having lunch on Wall St. to find a business savvy brother.
Diversify.
The Brown Sugar blogger tells women to “Get a Life.” If you venture out to new places you are bound to meet a new variety of people.
Invest.
Take time to get to know new prospectives before writing them off. Most immediate rejections are based on superficial observations. At least give the poor guy a chance to prove that he is not the man for you. The 90-Day Rule is an interesting strategy of getting to know your new beau.
Go solo.
The Brown Sugar blogger recently drew attention to the fact that it is hard enough for a man to approach a woman, and to approach her when she is surrounded by her girls it is near impossible. The blogger advises arriving early to gatherings and hanging out at the bar solo for a little bit.
Prepare the proposal.
Whoa whoa whoa, not that kind of proposal! All I’m saying is don’t be afraid to ask a guy out. The Fly Guy advises that being specific, for example “Have you ever been to Max Brenner? We should check it out.” is more appealing and more effective than “We should hang out sometime.”
It is my personal mission this summer to find some good men in this great city of New York. I’m challenging you SASSY ladies to a game of MANGO (Man BINGO), a scavenger hunt for the good men. Customize your MANGO board with the qualities you find important, and find one new person to fulfill each characteristic on the board. I can’t guarantee that you’ll find your soul mate. This game is intended purely for entertainment and to make some new friends. If you find your new boo, more power to you. It is my hope that by the end of the summer we would have all found at least found 25 of the good men.
HAPPY MANGO!
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
MANGO. I like it =)
Another piece of advice… SMILE. Nothing is scarier (for a man or woman) than a screwface (even if it is an unconscious gesture).
Be nice… this doesn’t mean you have to let people walk all over you or be subservient… but make conversation, smile, be engaging. It can’t hurt.
Thanks for that Leah. I think that is one my biggest mistakes and I promise I don’t do it on purpose. But I’ve been told that I had “the stank face” or the “don’t F*** with me look” one time too many, especially when I don’t even mean it.
from here on out!
Lol, ditto that Lady D.
Comfort zones are so hard to get out of sometimes.
I agree with the “Go solo” advice. I know a lot of guys act like nothing scares them, but I know that a group of girlfriends hanging together frightens them. They think it’ll be reject city coupled with laughing in his face.
But I also think that the go solo deal has to be planned accordingly; like the blogger said, go early.
Leah, this is so true! A smile will do wonders for even giving someone the confidence to approach you!