Here’s the thing. Being SASSY isn’t just a personality trait, but a way of life, a state of being. You don’t just become SASSY overnight, and it certainly doesn’t come and go like those monthly fits of rage or irritability, though many would confuse them with sassiness. There’s obviously more to it than shooting back razor-sharp wit or being a little more than pushy when trying to get what you want, and true SASSY women know how and when to turn it up a notch and when to hold it back. But for those of you who haven’t quite figured it out yet, or for those who find themselves in uncharted waters, I’ve compiled this little handy list of general ground rules for being SASSY. Consider it a sort of Sassy 101, if you will.
Now, I can’t tell you how to be SASSY. Sorry, girls, but if you have to ask… Well, you shouldn’t have to ask, which leads me to tip #1 – know who you are. Just as funny people know they’re funny, SASSY women know they’re SASSY and are proud of it. They don’t go around asking people if they think they’re SASSY, and certainly don’t reply to that question with, “well, my friends say I’m SASSY.” OWN IT. Sassiness and confidence go hand in hand; you can’t have one without the other, kind of like chocolate and espresso beans. This may sound ridiculous, but spend some time doing some serious self-exploration. Before you embark on your quest to being a SASSY goddess, ask yourself if you really consider yourself SASSY, or if you think you could ever become SASSY. If you answer yes, go for it. Careful, though – there is no halfway in SASSY; you either are or you aren’t.
Tip #2 – and this one is essential – don’t be a bitch. There’s a very fine line between being SASSY and just plain being a horrid bitch, and you definitely do not want to cross it. Of course, there are those certain situations when jumping the fence is necessary to get what you want, but you should really save it as a last resort. Burning bridges is never a good idea, especially if you’re new at this, and especially at work. Plus, SASSY women are admired and envied; bitches are just hated and gossiped about.
Speaking of work and crossing lines, don’t overstep boundaries (#3). I’ve been SASSY my whole life and I still manage to screw this one up. I get too comfortable with people too quickly and end up throwing out a sarcastic joke that gets mistaken as rudeness or contempt. Luckily it hasn’t cost me anything major, but it has gotten me reprimanded and caused more than a few awkward moments with new friends. It’s really all about perception. Sniff out your surroundings, assess the situation, and ask yourself – objectively – can you really throw around the sass here, right now? If you have even the smallest inkling of a doubt, keep it in your proverbial pants and wait until you feel it’s right. Come to think of it, this advice may be applicable to more than one section on this site.
However, don’t mistake this advice as permission to be timid. If you do, refer yourself back to the first tip and realize that telling you to be shy and hold back all the time wouldn’t fit in at all with being SASSY. Do take chances; when you honestly think something you’ll say or do will work out in your favor with minimal – and in the best circumstances, no – collateral damage, go for it. After all, no one ever got anywhere from staying in the box. Just don’t go so far out of the box that you have to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way back.
Tip #4: Don’t overdo it. Now, I’m not talking about over-vamping the sassiness here. If you’re not a seasoned pro, trying to be SASSY can come off as annoying and completely artificial; but I’m not saying don’t try. Please try. Try hard. Just try to make it look like you’re not (I know this is extremely difficult, but trust me, it’s important). Otherwise you could end up looking like that one girl in high school that wanted desperately to be part of the in-crowd and ended up incorporating every horrible adolescent trend into her wardrobe and no one wanted to be seen with her. So, for your own sake, keep the platform jellies in the closet.
Lastly (#5), be on your game at all times. Barring the rare cold or flu or other ailment that impedes brain function, you should always be on the ball and ready, because you never know when an opportunity will present itself. This doesn’t just mean being awake and alert (and, let’s face it, keeping caffeinated), but also knowing your territory and being prepared. Keep up to date on a common topic of conversation wherever you work or frequently hang out and learn from previous experiences to try to predict your next opportunity. But moderation is key – just because you can say or do something doesn’t mean you should; that quality vs. quantity rule does apply, so pick your battles wisely and you will (hopefully) always come out victorious.
Remember, being SASSY doesn’t just happen. Being SASSY comes from within, and it takes a long time to work it out, smooth out the edges, and mold yourself into the woman you want to be. I can’t just tell you to be SASSY. You have to want it. You have to work at it. And, to some degree, you have to earn it. There is no plan, just your own successes and failures that map out your “development.” Just keep in mind that there is no one right path and that when all else fails, stay true to yourself, because in the end, that’s really all that matters anyways.
-Allison
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Amen to that…